Five hour pre-licensing course

I am one step closer to getting my license, having completed the five hour pre-licensing course mandated by New York State on Tuesday, November 10, 2009 from 4 to 9 PM.

I signed in and the secretary instructed me to follow the signs across the carport and into the classroom. Once across the carport, I had two choices. The doors in front of me read "beware of dog," and "five hour course."

I walked into the classroom and I was hit by an odd smell. My first thought was welcome to hell, five hours of it anyway.  There was only one other person in the room, but by the time the class was up and running, I had 14 other people with which to commiserate.

Upon closer inspection, I realized that our classroom was not really a classroom, but a poorly converted garage with no heat.  The five hour was held in a very sketchy part of the city and I was convinced that some harm would befall me if my friend was not on time to pick me up.  It is ingrained in me not to be anywhere alone at night. Not only do I feel vulnerable from the standpoint of my own physical weaknesses, but recent security alerts from campus security were on my mind.

Then we met our instructor, Bill.  Hey Bill! Bill reminds me of a stereotypical gym teacher. The only thing missing was a whistle at the end of a lanyard around his neck.  He had facial features which led me to a tenuous connection of his resemblance to Alton Brown, host of Good Eats on the food network except Bill was older and his humor very corny, kind of like a corny uncle.

I thought that I would be surrounded by 16-year-olds ready to take their driver's test the very next day, but I was wrong. They were all 18 years or older, some were from foreign countries. No one had a name that I could pronounce.

Three hours, then I was done with it. I started to zone out. I wanted nothing more to do with watching more videos about driving, circa 1982.  The oldest video was of inmates from Germany willing to drive in excess of 50 mph into a tree to demonstrate the life-saving power of their seatbelt. Really, who else would do that? By that point, I was running on only water and a 90-calorie Special K bar. I spent my last two hours there watching the clock and wondering if my friend wanted me to be another statistic.